How to Go about Online Dating When You’re Overweight?

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Dating or even online dating is often a real challenge when you’re a bit plus-sized. Even with today’s talks about acceptance and all the pep talks you may hear from your friends and family, the idea of wallowing in self-pity is often too enticing. Indeed, it’s safer to cross dating out of your life entirely than to suffer through the disappointment or even harassment. Come to think about it, the very expectation of not being accepted is already suffering in itself.

Sometime, we might strike a deal with ourselves: “Ok, I’ll go with online dating, but I’ll stick to safe places, places where I surely won’t get disappointed, places where I can meet like-minded people.” So, this drives us to seek out matchmaking sites for plus size people. Surely, if a guy is big himself, he must know what it’s like for plus size people, and he must appreciate a curvy woman, right? The reality is not that simple. There are plenty of fat-hater jerks out there who wouldn’t so much as lift a finger to take care about their own figure. There are also people who are ok or downright love some extra flesh on their lovers. And, of course, let’s keep our faith in the existence of Jesus types who only care about your inner beauty.

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What does it have to do with your dating experience specifically? How is it even relevant? Should you even try to conquer your non-confidence and just dive into online dating? Where should you look for dates and relationship? Should you try and stick to a dating service for big people? So many questions to answer, but let’s give it a go.

Do We Even Need Special Dating Sites for Chubby People?

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First of all, the very formulation of the question suggests that there should be a dating site for plus size people who specifically want to date other plus size people. In other words, at such a site, the type of one user must meet the expectations of another at all times. And that’s science fiction.
Besides, there is hardly a special subculture for chubby people. Instead, as we have mentioned, there are:

  1. plus size people who prefer a thinner partner
  2. plus size people who would like a similar partner
  3. regular (non plus size) people who don’t mind some extra flesh on their partner
  4. people who hate any extra fat on their partner and themselves alike

So, if there should be specific dating agencies for larger people, there should be not one but three (for groups 1-3 from our list). This is an apparently unnecessary complication. There can be specialized websites for gay or straight people, for relationship-minded or those after a one night stand, but special dating sites for singles larger people don’t make too much sense. What we need to understand about seeking like-minded people is that the keyword here is “mind.” What truly matters here is the ultimate goal of online dating (or any dating, for that matter), – to find someone with whom you can mutually appreciate each other for who you are.

Overweight Woman

It is true that curvy beauty is not everyone’s cup of tea. It’s also true that the admirers of such beauty are not such a rare type! Research shows that 20% of men in New Zealand definitely prefer a plus size woman over a thin type. If you are a plus size woman yourself, it means that one out of five men you see will prefer you over that skin-and-bones chick. Moreover, it’s not a far stretch to assume that guys who specifically prefer a thin girl are also about 20%, which leaves us with 60% of men who pay more attention to other qualities in a woman than her size.

As such, narrowing down your online dating experience to specifically plus-size websites doesn’t make that much sense. By doing so, you would deliberately downplay your chances of meeting your perfect match. Instead, it is much more sensible to dive straight into the common pool and splash the world with your beauty, – trivial as it may sound.

Are there any dating sites for overweight people in New Zealand?

Of course, when matters of the heart are involved, it’s often hard to hear the voice of sensibility. For better or worse, there is a noticeable demand for niche matchmaking sites in NZ that would specialize in large people particularly. Even though they may be less efficient, such places do provide a sense of security. Even if they don’t help you build your date life the way you dream of it, they will give you a safe place to bind your time and meet people to talk to, if only for online chats. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, – after all, dating is not a sprint and not even a marathon.

The practical side of the issue, however, is a totally different question. New Zealand is not particularly a numerous nation; there are quite few of us down here. As such, even a general online dating website where you meet local people has to struggle to survive with such a limited number of users. If a dating platform wants to narrow down its clientele even further by going with a specific niche, it’s difficult to expect them to survive from ad revenue alone. Thus, one shouldn’t expect to find free dating websites for overweight in New Zealand. In other words, if you want a cozy place to chat with other plus-size people, you will probably have to be prepared to pay a reasonable fee for that. If you are not willing to pay, you will have to mingle with other people on general dating platforms.

The good news is that you don’t have to make that choice because those options are not mutually exclusive. You can opt for both variants and spend as much of your time and attention on them as you feel comfortable. For example, here’s a way of organizing it:

  • if you want a friendly chat with someone who understands your life, you go to a plus-size website
  • if you are in the mood for a date, you go to the general website